I NEED A VACATION
DEBT IS EVERYWHERE AND EFFECTING GENERATIONS, BUT THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE WHERE IT'S OKAY TO HAVE A LITTLE MORE.
I think a lot of us could be shouting the same thing right now. We do feel a slight amount of cheer with the holidays, but it also reminds us of the daily grind and the dragging debt pounding at our doors. It’s hard to look at a dwindling bank account and recognize that you should be taking time for yourself. You should be able to take a small amount of that shrinking green to - dare I say - enjoy life.
I feel I’m one of the lucky retail workers this holiday season. I don’t have to deal with an overbearing employer and I’m paid more than minimum wage, but I serve supreme yuppies. Every job is going to have an upside and downside - I’ve seen allllllll sides - but I think the majority of working class people will say their job sucks. I went to a craft shop the other day and the employee told me he has worked five days in a row, including the holidays because he couldn’t afford to miss work. Only being paid $9.50 an hour won’t allow anyone to feel free. It’s just enough to make you feel like you’re making your own choices, but really you need that job more than it needs you under the circumstances. With the holidays comes buying presents, hostess gifts, extra food, warm clothes, heating, etc… IT’S MONEY TOWN NOW. So, it’s really hard to find that courage to bite the bullet and realize you’re worth a little enjoyment AND it’s not irresponsible.
This was a concept that took me a while to wrap my head around. I have felt that it would be irresponsible of me to take a vacation for myself, but I’m going mad. I miss traveling. I miss seeing friends from far away places. I miss figuring out travel plans and tasting really strange food!
I bought a ticket to a lovely old, but new place today. It wasn’t a cheap purchase even with the credit I already had from a failed attempt to be happy, but I have no regrets. I’ll have more on my trip on Wednesday, but I couldn’t be more excited. I haven’t had something to truly look forward to in a very long time. Everything I’ve had planned as a way to enjoy life in the last couple of years has usually been tainted with some kind of depression, or feigned excitement. There haven’t been many moments where I’ve allowed myself to feel like I deserve good things because I’ve felt so down, undeserving, and a waste of space.
This upcoming trip is a real vacation. I plan on taking photos, walking, drinking with an old friend, meeting new friends, and learning to trust myself again.
So, I guess this “musing” is meant to say, take that little extra money you have, or put yourself in a little bit more debt to give yourself a moment of freedom. You’re going to have to fight that debt for a long while anyway. Treat yourself.