Sometimes when I feel like I need to start over I cut off (bite) my nails down to nibs and remove all of my nail polish. I don’t know why, but this always gives me the sense of starting fresh. I feel that way when I cut my hair. Even if the cut isn’t drastic or emotionally driven it still feels like I’ve hit the restart button. I think a part of me sees’ this vain deconstruction as a way of removing distraction. I’m allowed to tear myself down just a little bit, to the bare bones, and begin again.
I feel this way when I clean my room. I never just tidy my room, I always clean OUT my room. I am constantly reorganizing and rearranging my room to feel like I can focus on what’s important once more. This is probably due to the fact that I only have my room. I live in a house where I’m restricted to just my own bedroom. It can feel like a prison cell at times, but when I clean it out and change the overall feeling of the space I feel brand new. Granted this way of living has caused me a lot of stress because that means that the majority of the time I’m usually living in a cluttered room, full of donation bags and piles of papers to be filed or electronically stored.
One day I’d like to write about how I get shit organized...I’m obsessed with planners, online applications, phone apps, etc… to help budget, list - everything! Is that something people are interested in reading? Maybe!
On another note, I’d like to start a newsletter - but I’m not sure what I would put in it….to be continued…