We all experience loneliness from time to time, but it seems those pangs of sadness echo just a little louder when we’re isolated in a new environment. It’s in these moments we feel depressed and lost, more often than not, these are the moments where we want to give up our dreams to find a little comfort. If you already deal with issues of depression these moments can be felt so deep down you feel like you’ll never recover, but it’s important to know that you can.

Sometimes I feel myself slipping into depression when I’m on the verge of finding happiness. I think to myself that I’ll never truly achieve my goals and I should stop now before I dig myself in deeper. My depression and I have escapism in common.

I’m not sure where this blog post is really going. I’m feeling really depressed and alone at the moment. I know I need to fight these feelings of quitting, but I think it’s my issue of being alone that bothers me more.

I spend a lot of time on my own, but that’s mostly due to not actually having close friends around me. I don’t feel like I have that one person to call at the drop of the hat and they’ll do whatever they can to make time for me.

I’m feeling sorry for myself and I need to smack myself out of it.

If anything, there is a lovely lady on YouTube that goes by Sprinkle of Glitter. I don’t really care much for hauls or beauty tutorials, but she always has a positive attitude. She says to bring out the positive moments and focus on those rather than the sad, or difficult ones. Remind yourself everyday of the good moments and you’ll get through and stay focused on your goals. I’m trying to bring that way of thinking into my life, but this depression isn’t making it easy.

What’s even more frustrating is that I know a lot of my depression is caused by the type of birth control I’m using, but without I would probably be dead at this point. Right now my goals are: To keep this blog going, continue my health routine, and find a better living situation.

I’m not going to edit this post. I know it was haphazard and semi-vague, but it’s what I’m feeling at the moment. I need to treat this blog as my diary if I’m going to continue on with it. I have a photo essay coming up of my adventures hiking around Lake Dixon in Escondido, and a blog post about PCOS and infertility that some might find interesting.

Be kind to one another.

xo -slm